The Keys To A Relationship
by Achilles1011
Summary: The key to any relationship is trust, understanding, and compromise. A series of interconnected stories, telling the past, present and the future, of their relationship through memories, moments, and conversations. Now Includes Chapter IV: Commitment, a proposal from one party to another. Completed
1. I: Lauren- Trust

_Trust has to be built again on both sides. You have to learn if - if we're even the same people we were. If you can fit in each other's lives._ –_Tara Maclay_

* * *

What am I doing?

I can feel the warmth of her breath against my lips. We're so close.

She pulls away. "This is crazy. Once I start feeding I can't stop!"

"Yes you can." I reply. "You just have to start believing it. You're ready Bo."

"Maybe some other time." She says before she gets up and begins to walk away. I look at her as she walks away.

I trust her. So why won't she trust herself?

* * *

I watch as she glances down at the necklace in her hand, her fist clenched around it before she looks back up at me, her eyes burning, alight with fiery anger, as well as shinning with tears of betrayal. I open my mouth; try to find the words to reason with her, anything I can say that will disarm her, that will stop her from rushing head long into battle, only to get herself killed.

Will cause me to lose her… I stop myself from finishing the thought, blinking as I watch her lift up the necklace, as she throws it at me.

"Don't forget your dog-collar." She spits back at me, her voice full of stinging venom.

I watch her, frozen in place as she walks out of the doorway and towards certain death.

I blink, my eyes moving rapidly as I try to speak, to yell out after her, but my voice is caught in my throat, a lump having risen up chocking me, chocking back my words as I tried to call out after her.

I curse myself, my actions, my stupid thoughtless actions, as well as the emotions rising up within me.

The pressure at the back of my throat and behind my eyes.

I want to cry.

And I want to laugh.

Now of all times I am allowing myself to feel this pain, this heartbreak.

I want to laugh at the absurdity of it all, that it took a _succubus_ of all people to make me feel again, to breathe life back into me, to break the cold barrier I had set about between myself and the world.

I had fallen in love with a succubus… no I have fallen in love with Bo, with a gorgeous, funny, amazing woman, whose only been good to me.

I look down at the necklace lying innocuously on the floor, the one that she had thrown back at me in a moment of hurt, of betrayal

I had broken the fragile trust between us. I had tried to protect her in one of the few ways that I could, but I had only ended up hurting her (hurting myself in the process).

I smile, laughing bitterly at wet tears fall down my cheeks, but as quickly as they start I close my eyes and wipe the tears away with my finger. Slowly I make my way over to where my clothes were piled together in a heap on the floor.

I may have hurt her, I may have betrayed her, I may have broken her trust in me but there are still things that I can do to stop this, to stop _her_ from dying because she overestimates her strength and underestimates her opponents.

She won't listen to me but she will listen to him.

* * *

"I need to know that is isn't about you getting over Dyson." I murmur as I pull back, my hand resting against the smooth, soft, skin of her neck.

Bo pulls back, and smiles a brilliant, beautiful smile, one that I've missed seeing on her lips. It is one that makes me want to smile at her in turn.

"No." She replies with conviction. "This is about us."

And that's all I need to let myself get closer to her, to press that first firm kiss to her lips as her hands travel to my waist, holding me in place as she begins to press kiss after kiss to my lips.

This time proceeds much more quickly then the first, weeks of tension that had built between us exploding in an all consuming passion as we reunited, exploring each other and becoming reacquainted with bodies, lusted after and desired, the subject of fantasies and dreams, our first encounter on repeat within our memories.

She has finally taken the last step to forgiving me, and as we settle, her arm around my waist, my back to her front I can't help but marvel at how well we fit together, at how right her arms feel wrapped around me.

That time I fall asleep with a smile on my lips, and for the first time in years a joyous tune in my heart.

But as always I know the illusion will be shattered when I awaken.

* * *

She places a box in front of me, the one that may contain the secret to freeing Nadia.

And I finally tell her the truth, trusting her to understand why I am with the Light, the reason that I have sacrificed everything (my life, my family, my career).

_She decides she wants to help me. _

And I don't have the heart to tell her that even if Nadia is freed there is no guarantee that I will be freed in the way that she wants me to be (The very thing that I've become to afraid to try and grasp, despite the keys to my freedom being in my hand.)

* * *

Blue-eyes.

Blue chi from all over the room.

She's more then anything I could have ever guessed she was.

My heart pounds as I watch her break the collar, my eyes wide, but I can also feel the first hints of adrenaline appear in my blood.

I think for the first time I'm actually afraid of _her._

* * *

_The person you are now I absolutely love!_

I wish she would trust herself the way that I trust her. I wish she could see herself through my eyes.

I wish she could love herself, but then again who am I to talk when I still hate myself even after everything I've done to try and atone.

* * *

"Bo!" The both of us cry out as she falls to the ground, the darkness within her having lost the battle.

But it may not have lost the war.

What is she becoming? Can we even stop her?

* * *

Disbelief.

Disbelief and overwhelming happiness.

"Really?" I whisper, wondering. My voice cracking at the overwhelming mixture of emotions surging through me. I smile up at her, wondering if this was a joke that she was playing.

"I wanna give this a real shot. Be together. Life is too short" She replies, her voice the same as it always is when she makes a decisions (finally, finally!). It's firm. This is her choice, her destiny, this is the path she chooses in spit of everything that says this should be impossible, that she shouldn't want me, the fragile human lover.

I don't hesitate anymore, I reach up and grab her by the back of her neck as I crash her lips against mine, revealing in the feeling of kissing _my_ _girlfriend_.

This was all I wanted. This was all that I have wanted.

I celibate with the press of her mouth against mine, ignoring the voice in the back of my mind telling me that this isn't a good idea.

I don't know if it is or if it isn't, but I don't care anymore because I trust Bo, and I love her, and right now nothing else matters.

* * *

_Please say something._

I lean over and press my lips to hers.

It's the only thing I can do.

"If this is you angry then I need to tell you about the time I borrowed your favourite earnings and then lost one of them." She replies, trying desperately to deflect, to break the tension that surrounds us.

"Ahh..." Escapes me, as I breath, trying to control the tears in my eyes and the lump in the back of my throat, the painful beat of my heart under my breast as it slowly breaks at the breaking of the dam of denial that I had set up between myself and the knowledge.

I'm not enough for her.

I'll never be enough for her.

My heart aches, it feels as if it's breaking into a thousand pieces, but I can't let myself break down. This isn't her fault. It's mine. I should have known this would happen. I should have known that I wouldn't be enough to sustain a succubus.

I say the only thing I can. "I love you."

She smiles, a beautiful, brilliant smile, one that I would normally love so much, but right now it only makes my heart ache even more, and replies. "I love you too."

* * *

She holds me as we fall asleep that night, but after she drifts off I roll away, pulling on a robe as I get out of bed.

I close the door behind me and make my way down to the main floor, calmly, quietly so that if she wakes up I can tell her that I'm only getting a glass of water, that she can go back to sleep, it's okay I'll be up in a minute.

After a minute, after I'm sure she hasn't woken up and followed me I finally allow the tears to fall, the suppressed sob to escape from my lips.

* * *

Waiting...

Always waiting...

Always left behind.

* * *

I continue to talk with the man in front of me about free-radicals.

I... there's something that I can't quite put a name on. What is it?

Appreciated... I feel appreciated again.

I blink backs tears as for the millionth time my mind wanders. _Where are you Bo? You're the one whose supposed to be here, not this man. _

I blink again with that thought. She's changed.

She really has changed.

And I'm beginning to wonder who she is. Do I even know my girlfriend anymore?

* * *

I blink, my mind blank as I watch her caress his cheek, the look of pure relief in her eyes as she stares back at me.

I close my eyes and swallow as I try not to feel my heart being slowly shredded apart by the knowledge of what I'm seeing.

If I don't let myself search, if I don't let myself see it then maybe I can be lost in the illusion that she still loves me, and wants to be with me, and _only_ me for a few seconds longer.

* * *

I'm loosing faith in her. I want to be with her, but it's so hard.

It hurts so much.

But I can't…

* * *

_Thwack!_

The sound replays in my mind over and over.

It felt good.

It felt so good to do that to her.

Because I don't want to believe her, I don't want to think about Bo kissing someone else for any reason, I can accept that she needs to feed.

But...

All I can do is focus on my breathing, on holding back the pressure forming in the back of my throat as I fight back tears.

She betrayed me again.

I can't do this anymore. It hurts so much.

It's all too much...

* * *

Her warmth around me, holding me close to her.

The only thing I've wanted through all of this.

But it's to late. I can't do this anymore.

I'm so tired. I'm just so tired.

I want to go back, to the first time I fell asleep in her arms, when it felt so good, it was so much simpler.

Back when I could believe in her, believe in a future for _us._

Now all I can think about is how broken I feel.

I love her. I will always love her.

But that isn't enough anymore.

I close my eyes and bury my face in her shoulder, holding back the tears that want to escape, reveling in the feeling of her body against mine because I'm going to give this up soon.

* * *

The door closes behind her, and the tears that I've held back escape, a sob leaving my mouth as I hunch over, my body wracked with pain as I begin to cry.

_Why...?_

* * *

He carried me home that night.

Maybe he isn't so bad after all...

But I wish it was Bo whose chest I was curled up against, not Dyson's...

But I can't trust myself to be alone with her. I can't trust _her_.

* * *

I look down at the drawer, the one that I placed the necklace in, hesitating, knowing that if I pull it out I will stop, I will stay, I will let myself be used and abused (broken), again.

I breathe closing my eyes as I try to regain control over my ragging emotions, over the overwhelming feelings.

I take a breath and steel myself, walking over to the entrance.

This is my chance to start over, away from everything.

Away from an aching heart, and shattered trust.

* * *

_I know you and I love you!_

No you don't. I've kept so much from you. When you find out who I am, you're going to hate me again, turn away from me.

It will be the Vex incident all over again.

Just another lie, just like all the others that have broken everything in between us.

* * *

It's time to set my plan in motion. It's my turn to save the world.

I can only hope that she will forgive me for hurting her, for betraying her again.

Maybe when all of this is over, we can settle down, we can talk, and maybe finally everything can be repaired.

* * *

I want to reach out, I want to call her back.

But I can't.

_I_ have to do this.

Nothing's changed. I still feel the same way I did about her now and I did then.

But I still don't know what I can tell her and what I can't.

* * *

True love's kiss.

Who would have thought?

She brought me back.

Maybe there is still something there... maybe there is still a chance.

* * *

She wore it. That's all I need to see.

* * *

"No Bo. I'm yours." I tell her, a smile on my lips as I bid her farewell. I give her something to come back to, an incentive to survive when she may otherwise give up. It's a grand gesture, but one that is filled with truth.

I am hers. I will always be hers.

I love her unconditionally and irrevocably in a way that I have never loved another and never will love another. I am hers for as long as she will have me. I owe her so much, for teaching me how to be free, for reminding me of the person I once was, and for helping me along the way to the person that I've become.

It has a lot to do with her and her influence.

I am loyal to her, I will follow her anywhere and I will do whatever it takes to protect her and ensure that she lives to see another day, and to fight another battle, even if it means betraying her again and again, hurting her to keep her alive.

"I'm going to stay behind." I say. "Evony's stable but you know Hippocratic Oath and all that."

"Shit you're serious." She replies, in a voice that I can't tell if it's disbelief, disappointment, or perhaps a tone that I haven't heard from her in a long time, understanding. But there's still a question in her eyes that I want to answer.

"Well she's all vulnerable and human… and I'm kinda the one who did this to her so…" I trail off, trying to find more words to explain to her the reason that I'm staying behind.

But something happens, an expression that I haven't seen in nearly a year. A genuine smile, an understanding smile, as she replies. "The craziest thing is that I get that."

I don't know what's provoked the sudden change in behaviour, but all I can do is smile in return at the old Bo's reappearance, and the woman I love beginning to reassert herself. There's only one thing left to do now, set her free. "Go on succubus, get out of here, destiny's calling."

She audibly inhales, hesitating for only a moment before she turns around and begins to walk away. I can't help but watch her, a proud smile on my lips. This is the woman I love, the woman I recognize, the human and the Fae come together.

And I will wait for her to return to me, and maybe when this is all over there will be a chance for us to finally have that talk.

Bo suddenly stops for a moment, hesitating before she turns around, and dashes back to me, her hands my cheeks before she smashes our lips together in a kiss full of meaning, of words unspoken, meanings and emotions that jumble together in a tangle that makes meaning ambiguous and emotions unintelligible.

She pulls back, her fingers brushing against my chin momentarily before she retreats completely, turning her back to me once again, and walking away from me and towards her destiny.

Now all I can do is wait and keep myself calm as emotions surge through me. Love, hope, sadness, want, happiness, and worry, the biggest one right now is probably worry.

I want her to come back to me, and I can't help but feel my feeling of worry that this isn't going to turn out well, and that when the dust settles nothing will be the same for any of us.

For know all I can do is wait here, safe and away from the battle, putting up with the newly human Morrigan.

All I can do is wait for her to return.

If you love someone set them free, and if they come back they're yours.

Bo knows that I'm hers, but the question know is will she ever be mine? And even if we can, even if it's possible for us to repair our relationship, can I trust her again?

I can hear an indignant squawk coming from inside the shack, pulling me out of my trance.

And even as I make my way back towards the place to try and get Evony out of whatever trouble she had managed to get herself into I can't help but listen to the echo of my heart inside my mind. The part of me that already knows the answer to the question that I've posed.

Whether I like it or not I trust Bo, because somehow we skipped the repair stage, and now we're back in our holding pattern.

The ball is in her court now, but I will also no longer wait in the wings.

* * *

**Thank-you so much for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting this fic. ** Thank-you so much for taking the time to read this as well as the reviews that everyone has left, they are always welcome and appreciated as well as constructive criticism and ways by which to improve.****


	2. II: Bo- Understanding

**II. Bo: Understanding**

* * *

_The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. _– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

* * *

"Whatcha reading?" I hear Kenzi calls out, and before I can even look up from my book she had already crossed my room and has begun to crawl across the bed towards me. She quickly settles down next to me before she plucks the book out of my hands before I can even protest. She takes one look at the cover before she sighs and shakes her head, turning the beaten up cover towards me. "Again BoBo?"

I shrug not sure what to say, I have my reasons for reading the book again, are they really anyone's business but my own?

Kenzi gives me a pointed look before she tosses the thing over her shoulder. "You don't have to be happy and single BoBo, you're the queen! You can have anyone you want!"

I close my eyes as I let my head fall back against the pillow. The problem wasn't that I didn't want anyone, it is that I know who I want, I just can't make a choice between them, something that's unfair to both of them. "It's better off that I learn how to be happy in single-hood. I don't think succubi are meant for relationships."

"What happened to the whole I will chose my own path, screw destiny and screw biology?" Kenzi asks as she pokes me in the side, trying to get me to turn towards her. I close my eyes, and shake my head.

"It's not about _me_ anymore Kenz… it's about the entire world of the Fae! I mean how am I even supposed to be queen when I can't even keep my love-life on track?" I say as I turn towards Kenzi, her eyes are warm, and full of the same mirth that they always are, or at least they have been for the last little while, since everything ended. "I'm better off surrounded by friends and family, keeping my feeds feeds, and not trying to worry about love on top of everything else."

"So the self-help book came out again?" She asks, a teasing smile brewing just below the surface as her hands begin to inch closer to me. "Am I going to have to poke you with a sausage again? Because I think we have one in the fridge somewhere…"

"No!" I yell out, shifting around to tackle her and pin her to the bed, but instead my leg slides out from under me, and after hanging in the air for a second, my right hand gives out and sends me falling to the ground as I claw at the sheets on my bed uselessly.

I land hard on my back, the air knocked out of my lungs as my head slams back into the ground, the pain rebounding through my skull moments later. The sheet that I had been holding slowly flutters down on top of me, as I lie there sprawled out on the ground, the red satin falling almost serenely to the ground.

"Owww…" I groan as I try to lift myself off the ground, only to become tangled in the sheet instead.

"You've got to be kidding!" I growl as I roll onto my stomach, the beat-up hardwood floor coming into view as I do so.

"You okay?" Kenzi calls out from above me before she stops for a second, and then bursts out laughing, the sound echoing through my roof almost like it's teasing me. I glare at the floor as I try to roll-over again, somehow getting myself even more tangled up in the sheet then before.

I swear that this thing is possessed by a snake-Underfae!

Note to self, ask Trick if there are any kinds of Fae or Underfae that can possess sheets.

"You alright down there Succubo?" Kenzi laughs as my bed squeaks, telling me that she's shifted somewhere near the edge where that one spring is.

"Peachy!" I mutter as I try to roll myself over again only for my legs to get tangled up in the sheets even more. Gah! I swear to god, favourite or not I will tear this thing apart if I can't find my way out of this in the next minute or two.

Just as I begin to contemplate the murder of my favourite sheets I hear Kenzi's laughter get closer to my ear as her black tights come into view as she kneels down next to me. "Tsk… how on Earth did you manage this?"

"I don't know… now will you help me to get myself out of this or should I start yelling for Tamsin?" I snap as I tilt my head up, wincing as the world around me begins to spin.

"No need for Tam-Tam. She's not here anyways, she's out somewhere with Dyson, I think they're investigating some robberies or something." Kenzi replies, the laughter in her voice gone as she beings to run her hands up and down my body.

"Are you helping me or groping me?" I joke when I feel her hands begin to press against my chest before they move lower, running along my sides.

"As attractive as you are honey you're still not my type." She fires back before the hand on my back stop, tugs once at the sheet, and then the tightness of the sheet wrapped around me suddenly just disappears. I sigh in relief as I turn over, coming face-to-face with a smirking Kenzi.

"What do we say?" She asks as she pushes herself up.

"Thank-you." I mumble as I grab the hand that she's offered to me, allowing her to pull me up. I smile at her before I reach out and pull her into a hug. She shrugs and wraps her arms around me in return.

"What's this all about huh?" She whispers, squeezing me once before loosening her griping on me. "Did something happen with Lauren or Dyson?"

"No… I just want to thank-you for being there for me, always." I say, looking down at Kenzi, taking in the fact that her hair is down, that she isn't wearing make-up, she's dressed only in pyjama pants and a shirt. She looks younger at these times then any other, and yet when I look at her now I see a hardness to her eyes that wasn't there before, her face is a little sharper then I remember it being.

She looks older.

She's _growing older_.

I still look the same as I did five years ago. I haven't aged a day.

Kenzi's grown so much since we meet for the first time. She's changed so much, gone is the sometimes selfish, impulsive, video game obsessed, wisecracking, and sometimes lost and confused teenager that I once knew and in her place is a caring, mature, protective selfless, intelligent and of course funny as ever young-woman.

For me? Well two-steps forward one-step back. I know now that I still have a lot more growing-up to do, and a lot to make up for, especially after everything that happened with my father. But if nothing else the whole battle for the fate of the world thing did teach me to be grateful for what I have, and that I _have_ to cherish the family that I've found for myself.

"Hey what's with that look huh Bo?" Kenzi asks, breaking my train of thoughts.

"Nothing, just thinking about stuff." I reply, a small smile tugging at my lips as I look at her. I'm so glad that I have her back, a world without Kenzi is… well it's a world that's very hard to live in.

"What kind of stuff?" She asks as she plops right back down onto my bed.

"About you, and about how much you've changed, how much you've grown since we first met. And about how much I've... well devolved I guess." I say as I flop down on the bed next to her. "I'm just starting to feel like me again, after two years of being me and not being me. It's weird and confusing, and I feel like I'm right back where I started, like I've just found out that I'm Fae all over again."

"Huh." Kenzi replies, but not saying anything else.

"I mean how am I supposed to rule the entire Fae world? How am I supposed to take care of everyone and everything, make sure that it all runs smoothly. I can barely run my life, let alone an entire world." I sigh, bringing my hand up to my forehead as I let out a groan. "I mean, I can't even get my life in order."

"You're life doesn't seem that out of order BoBo. We've been doing what we've always been doing, taking cases and helping people, helping the police. I mean the saving the world thing, that's new, as was the dying…" Kenzi trails off before she shakes her head and forces herself to smile at me again as she props herself up on her elbows. "My point is what about your life is out of order? You've finally found the answers about where you've come from, about who you are. I mean there's the whole queen thing but that's what a couple hundred years away?"

I nod and shrug. "I'm not running away from the queen thing Kenz. I'm done running from my destiny. At least by becoming queen, by ruling as _me_ and not as my darkness I can finally begin to change things. I can pull this world into the twenty-first century or well twenty-third or twenty-fourth by the time I start ruling." I shake my head. "My point is things need to change, whether the Fae think so or not."

"And until then? Until it's time for you to ascend the throne?" She prods me.

"I live my life, I try to find out who I'm meant to be, without all the prophecies, all of the other destiny bullshit. I'll probably just live my life, maybe travel…" I stop as the memory of the words I once spoke to Lauren resurfaces.

_I want to live. I want to travel the world, but I only want to do that with you._

"Or maybe I'll stay right here with you and with Trick and Tamsin." I murmur as one of my hands drifts to my chest grabbing at the pendant of the necklace that hangs there. _I want to live. I want to travel the world, but I only want to do that with you_.

_This is just a break right?_

Silence.

It's over.

I laugh bitterly.

"What's all that about huh?" Kenzi asks as she tilts her head towards me in concern.

"Nothing, just a memory, one that I didn't need or want to remember." I shake my head as I try to get rid of the memory.

"Your clutching at her necklace again." Kenzi reminds me gently. "What's going through that head of yours huh?"

"Just another memory. I told Lauren something similar just before she asked for a break, that's all." I say as I look around the room, slowly loosening my grip on the necklace. "It's not a big deal."

"Doesn't sound like not a big deal to me Bo. Why should she hold you back from traveling if that's what you want to do?" Kenzi questions.

I shake my head as I roll onto my side to face her. "It's more complicated then that, infinitely more complicated then that. God, the things I still don't know about her, after everything we've gone through together I don't even know something as simple as her favourite colour."

"She never told you?"

"I never thought to ask."

"Wow. What did you two-" I open my mouth about to respond when Kenzi begins to shake her head back and forth rapidly. "On second thought I think I already know the answer, I heard enough of you two together to last me a lifetime."

"It wasn't all that, sometimes we would talk, just talk for hours, about her science, my life before everything got crazy… but things go so complicated so quickly after the first little while that we never really got past that." I mumble, burying my head in my arms. "And I forgot to ask her something as stupid as her favourite colour, let alone where she wanted to go on vacation."

"You…" Kenzi trails off, as I tilt my head towards her I can see her eyes widen considerably. "You really wanted that relationship after all didn't you?"

"Of course I did!" I say, my arms moving towards my ears and then away for emphasis. "I love her. I wanted us to work, but I suck at relationships!"

"Now that you mention it you kind of do I guess."

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" I ask Kenzi as I look at her again.

"Right. You're an awesome girlfriend. How does that sound?" She asks, looking at me.

I groan as I role back onto my stomach. "Like a big fat lie. I know I suck at relationships. I know I don't know how to be a good girlfriend. I know that I barely know Lauren or Dyson, but… argh!"

"What's so complicated about it?" Kenzi begins. "With you and the Doc before everything went south, I hate to say this but feeding from Dyson was kind of a mistake wasn't it? You knew how she felt about him at the time. Where was I?"

"Me and Lo…-uren." I reply, look up at Kenzi as she begins to talk again.

"You two were fine, strong actually, really strong. It was sort of an us vs. the world kind of thing, but for you two it worked at least for a while. But when the world came-a-knockin' you kinda… crumbled and began to listen to what everyone else was saying." Kenzi says as she looks down at me. "I mean I get you were under a lot of pressure at the time, but you kinda…"

"Went crazy? Began to degenerate into a selfish bitch? Began to alienate everyone I love? Sell out my girlfriend? Not pay enough attention to her? Not love her enough? Put her last?" I sigh and shake my head as I bury it in my arms. "I know that Kenz I already know all of that. It doesn't take an idiot to realize it."

"You're not an idiot BoBo, dense as a brick at times, but not an idiot. At least not a complete one." Kenzi says as she absently pats my shoulder.

"Thanks Kenz, thank-you so much." I grumble.

"So what exactly are you planning on doing about your messed up love life?" She asks me bluntly.

"Nothing." I reply. "That's why I'm reading the book. I need to figure out how to be alone before I can be with anyone else. I just need a way to tell Lauren and Dyson, set them both free and give them a chance to move on, they both deserve that much."

"And like the saying goes if they both come back?" She asks as she lies down beside me, curling against me slightly.

"Then… I don't know what I'll do then. My feelings for Dyson are complicated and there's just so much baggage with Lauren, we still haven't even _talked_ about what our relationship is." I sigh, before wincing as Kenzi kicks me in shin with one of her sock covered feet. "Oww. Watch the feet please."

"Sorry 'bout that." Kenzi says as she rushes through the apology before she begins to talk again. "So your feelings for Dyson are complicated… meaning you're not in love with him anymore are you?"

"Like I said I don't know. I was so focused on getting you back, and Lauren helped me through all of that because Dyson was busy with Tamsin, and we were both crying messes for a week, and then we got you back and we went to Valhalla, I met my father and began to turn completely dark, and well after that…" I trail off, narrowing my eyes as I try to repress the memories of what came after. It was nothing I wanted to remember.

"It's complicated. There is one thing that confused me about all of that though. Of all of us Lauren was the only one who could bring you back." Kenzi says as she pauses. "I mean we thought that of all people it would be me, but it was her in the end."

"It was all of you." I reply. "All of your voices, all of the memories that we share that brought me back."

"But the Doc's voice was a little louder then the rest of ours wasn't it?" Kenzi asks before she adds. "And it was her kiss that revived you after you… you know."

"It seems to be a thing between the two of us." I mutter. "When we went into Dyson's memories to try and find a way to save him, something went wrong and Lauren had to come and pull me out. I nearly lost her that day, because humans aren't supposed to wear the string, but she brought me back, just like she always does, it's just that time I got to repay the favour."

"You never told me that before." Kenzi whispers.

I shrug. "I didn't see the point. I thought it was a fluke, but apparently the whole kiss thing works both ways."

"Indeed it does." She says in reply. "Indeed it does. This might just be me, but from the way you talk about her, barely thinking of Dyson, it sounds like you've already made you're choice."

I shake my head. "It's not a choice for me to make. I love her, but that doesn't change the fact that our relationship is infinitely complicated, that love isn't enough for us, that it takes so much more then I can understand to be in a relationship. I don't want to hurt her again."

"Don't you think that maybe the fact that you understand that might be enough?" She replies. I look up at Kenzi, as she continues. "You have to learn how to be in a relationship, there's no right way to go about it, you have to learn it just like you have to learn everything else, like you have to learn how to be you, and honestly Bo? At your worst you were more you with Lauren then you were with anyone else. Don't you think that it might be time to let Lauren teach you how to be in a relationship? That you let yourself learn?"

"I don't know." I reply shaking my head.

"What do you see in your future?"

"A throne, a lot of responsibility, a lot of bullshit ass kissing and politics, and god knows how much paperwork." I reply.

Kenzi looks at me again, her eyes boring into me. "I meant where do you see yourself before all of that. What do you want the closer future to look like?"

"The dawning showed me pregnant, it showed me coming home to Dyson. It showed me a house in the suburbs and a white-picket fence. It showed me the future that I've wanted since I was a kid." I reply, remembering the jumbled mass of confusion that had been the dawning at the meanings behind everything that I'd seen.

"It was Dyson that the dawning showed you?"

"It was Dyson's body… but it was Lauren's personality. Everything about it screamed Lauren. He was a doctor, he was talking and acting like Lauren does when she's excited, and he was geeking out. He wasn't Dyson, he was Lauren Kenz, how I pictured she might be if we ever managed to get pregnant." I murmur with a sad smile. "It was everything I wanted, it was the dream that I had made for _myself_."

"If Dyson hadn't been with you during the dawning do you think it might have been Lauren instead of him?" Kenzi asks me gently.

All I can do is shake my head in response. "I don't know. Maybe. Anything's possible in that confusing place. It doesn't really matter in the end, my father also interfered with my dawning, showed me things that shouldn't have been there. I just know I love her, and I have complicated feelings for him."

"Shouldn't love be enough then? With Hale…" Kenzi trails off as I reach out and pull her close to me, knowing that talking about him only brought back painful memories for her.

"You don't have to talk about him Kenz. It's okay. I'm sorry to drag up bad memories." I whisper into her hair as I hold her close to me, my heart aching at the thought of having caused her pain.

"I just want you to be happy. One of us deserves to be." Kenzi whispers, her hand coming up to clutch at the loose fabric of my shirt.

"And I've got millennia to find it. You don't have the unfortunate luxury of time I do." I murmur into her ear. "I will find happiness in time, don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you."

"You love her. You should tell her before something happens, before something can take her away." Kenzi says as she pulls away from me, she scoots back until she's sitting against one of the bedposts. She smiles at me through cloudy, tear-filled eyes. "I'll see him again. I know he's waiting for me up there, and when it's my time. My _actual_ time, he'll great me at the gates as Tamsin leads me through."

"Kenzi." I say, as I force myself up and into a sitting position as well.

"But until then, I'm here. I'm still your bestie and I say that you deserve to be happy, with the person that makes you happy. Human, Fae, hell Underfae if that's what makes you happy then I say go for it. But right now what makes you happiest, the person that makes you happiest is the person who makes you smile when no one else can, the person who you like at like they're the most precious thing in the world. It's the person whose necklace you wear." Kenzi's eyes are wide and alight with passion as she speaks, her voice is stronger then I can remember it being. I look her in the eye as she stops out of breath, a smile on her lips.

I look at her, and I look down as I grab the necklace that dangles from my neck, the one that I haven't taken off since I put it on. That night I wanted to have something of her with me when I went into battle, I wanted her close, and this was what I had. I smile as I look down at it, at the memory of the smile on Lauren's lips when she said the simple words "You wore it."

I clutch it, nodding to myself and smiling ruefully as I realize that this decision was made a long time ago, when I committed myself to her the first time. All this time and I guess some things really were out of my hands after all huh?

It's almost ironic.

I am in love with the strongest woman I've ever known, and perhaps the most extraordinary human I've ever met, aside from the one sitting next to me of course. Lauren also has her flaws, just like I have.

One thing I think that I do know about us and our relationship is that we both suck at communicating with each other; at least we suck at talking with each other, we can communicate so much through a glance, a touch, but sometimes that's not enough. I look over at Kenzi and smile as I shake my head.

"Thank-you Kenz, for helping to pull my head out of my ass." I say as I look over at the woman curled up against the bedpost.

"Hey happy to help. So now you gonna run off and talk to the doc?" She asks.

I shake my head. "Nope. There's still a lot more that I need to think over, and a lot more that I need to do. I can't hurt her again Kenz, and before I do anything else I need to talk with Dyson, it's not fair to keep stringing him along."

"When did you start thinking so much?" She jokes as she looks me over, before she crawls across the bed and begins to poke at me.

I laugh before replying. "Going dark, nearly dying, and being brought back to life can do wonders for contemplating your life. Plus there isn't much else to do when you're sitting locked in a jail cell to make sure that you don't go crazy again."

"So how much longer are you going to keep thinking about stuff?" Kenzi asks.

"I'm going to see if I can talk with Dyson tomorrow or the day after. I don't think this'll come as much of a surprise to be honest, plus I've seen the way he's been looking at Tamsin, hopefully this'll be the last push he needs to go after her." I begin before I notice the look of horror in Kenzi's eyes, which is quickly replaced by happiness.

"My little girl's all grown up!" Kenzi squeals.

"Hey!" I squeak out as Kenzi tackles me onto the bed. "Wait, who are you talking about?"

"Nevermind. You wanna go watch a horror movie marathon with me?" Kenzi asks as she crawls off of me and slides towards the end of the bed.

"That sounds good Kenz. Actually it sounds amazing. I'll go get the candy and you make the popcorn?"

"Yeah meet you in five?" She asks as she stands up.

"Yep." I reply, smiling at her as she leaves the room.

Thank-you Kenz, thank-you.

I smile down at the necklace resting in my palm one last time before standing up and beginning to make my way towards the door.

* * *

**As always thank-you so much for taking the time to read. A special thank-you to those who have followed or favourited, and an extra thank-you to people who left reviews on the last chapter. **

**Sorry about the delays in updating pretty much everything. Eyes To The Soul is up next and should be out by next weekend, I apologize for so many delays. **

**And on a last note reviews are very much welcomed and desired, they are very much an huge source of inspiration that keeps me going. **


	3. III: Both- Compromise

_For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else._ –Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

"Are you sure about this Bo?" Kenzi asks for the millionth time as Bo stands in front of the mirror fiddling with her hair, unable to decide if she should put it up or if she would leave it down. She also tugs at the trench coat hanging down from her shoulders, frowning when she shivers even in the Crackshack. Why did winter have to be so damn cold?

"I'm not sure about anything anymore Kenz. All I know is that when I'm with her it feels right, she feels right." Bo says, a as she turns to face her best-friend. "What do you think?"

"About this half-assed plan of yours?" Kenzi asks. "Or about how you look in that coat of yours?"

"How about at bit of both?" Bo replies as she tugs at the long trench coat hanging off her shoulders. "Is this even going to be warm enough?"

"Meh polar vortex, smolar vortex." The raven-haired woman replies as she reaches up to fix the collar of Bo's shirt. "Does it really matter how cold you get?"

"I don't think Lauren would like it if a Popsicle showed up on her doorstep."

"I think you underestimate how much you two spark" Kenzi mutters as her eyes drift up and down Bo's frame. "She'd have to warm you up the old fashion way, giving her an excuse to actually touch you."

Bo laughs silently as she shakes her head. She didn't feel like telling Kenzi she was more likely to end up ordered into a bathtub, without a naked Lauren to keep her company. "Think whatever you want Kenz, but you and I both know she doesn't need an excuse to touch me."

"That's true, all she has to do is talk in geek and she has the key to your pants." Kenzi groans as she scrunched up her nose before her eyes harden and she turns to face Bo again. "In all seriousness though I'm going to ask you one more time, are you sure that you wanna do this?"

"Yah… wait what happened to the supportive Kenzi from three weeks ago?" She grins as Kenzi reaches out, swatting at her. "She's still here, and she still wants to see you happy, but she doesn't want to see you heartbroken again. There's no running to Dyson this time."

"I know. God I know." Bo says as she closes her eyes, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Her talk with Dyson had been a bitter one, but also quick and painless. She had been right, he had fallen in love with Tamsin, and while the talk between them hadn't been nearly as painful as it could have been it was still not an easy one. "That option is gone, no more Dyson, and honestly I'm kinda relieved."

"Really?" Kenzi asks her incredulous. "You were kinda weepy when you came home."

"I didn't say it was _easy_. I just said that I was glad it was done." Bo sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair one last time. "It was hard to do. It's hard to end something that you both have clung to as a security blanket for years on end."

"You seem happier though. I don't know… lighter maybe?" Kenzi says as she reaches out to run her fingers though Bo's hair one last time. "You just seem to be happier these days."

"I am Kenz… god it feels like I'm finally starting to get some degree of control back over my life." She pauses as Kenzi cocks her head to the side in confusion. "I guess what I mean is that I don't have that choice hanging over my head anymore. And the tension between them! God I don't think I could stand another dinner with everyone, being caught in one love triangle was bad enough, I don't want to be caught up in another one, especially when I'm the _unwilling_ third party."

Kenzi grins at her as she shakes her head. "I never thought the day would come that I was helping you to get ready to go and try to win Lauren back."

"I'm not trying to win her back. I'm just going to talk to her." Bo replies before whispering. "A talk that we really should have had a long time ago."

"I think you're ready Bo." Kenzi says as she pushes Bo towards the mirror again. "Yep, you're about as ready as you're ever going to be."

"Thank-you Kenzi." Bo says as she turns around to gather her best-friend in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank-you for everything."

Kenzi pats her back a few times before she smiles and buries her face in Bo's shoulder. "Just remember that I'm going to be waiting right here when you get back okay? No matter the outcome."

"I know. The ice-cream and horror movies are on standby?" Bo jokes as she pulls away, but Kenzi doesn't smile, instead all she sees is her best-friend's face warped into a grimace. "Hey, you know that I'm going to be okay right? Either way I know that I have you to come back too."

Kenzi finally smiles as she looks up at Bo. "I know. You have me, you have your dear old grandpa, and you also have a protective Valkyrie and a wolf. But just in case the horror movies are on waiting by the DVD player, the ice-cream will have to be purchased, Tam-Tam ate the last of it."

"I was wondering where all the spoons went."

"Yeah… I wonder too…"

"Kenzi?"

"Yes?"

"The spoons had better reappear by the time I get back."

"Of course." Kenzi mumbles before she mumbles something under her breath that Bo could swear sounded suspiciously like. "I guess another 'trip' to the store will be needed. Tam-Tam so owes me."

All she can do is smile and laugh as she watches Kenzi grumble under her breath, although Bo did have to wonder what untimely fate the spoons met this time around, the last time they had all disappeared they had ultimately ended up with Lauren, whom was running tests on the various new 'homes' of the bacteria. "So long as Gerald, Justine, and Javier don't make a reappearance I don't care if the spoons are on Mars Kenz, but it is kind of annoying trying to eat ice-cream with a fork."

"I make no promises." Kenzi replies, her hand up as if she was about to swear an oath. Bo smiles as she looks at her best-friend before she glances at herself in the mirror again. She closes her eyes as she breathes in and then out.

It was time.

* * *

Lauren looks up from her microscope when she hears the hard bangs of knocking on her door. She squints as she looks over at the opposite side of the room. She hadn't been expecting any visitors today; did they need her down at the lab? Did something happen with one of her patients?

Deciding that she couldn't take the risk of avoiding answering she quickly makes her may over to the heavy, dark, wooden door. Pulling it open quickly her eyes widen in surprise when she sees the person standing on the other side of the door. Immediately her mind begins to go into overdrive.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?" She questions as she scans over Bo's body looking for any indications of injury. Walking towards her quickly Lauren reaches out as she begins to pat the brunette opposite her down feeling for any signs of injured ribs. "Bo? You need to tell me where it hurts. I can't help you if you don't…"

"I'm fine Lauren." Bo says, smiling as she catches both of her hands between her own. She can't help but raise a skeptically eyebrow as she continues to take in the body of the woman opposite her. "Really I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Bo I don't care what it is or how you go it, you know you don't have to be embarrassed. Did something go wrong with one of your feeds? Did you loose control again?" Lauren begins to guess, trying to figure out why the woman in front of her is even here.

"No. No. I'm fine, nothing's happened when I feed. Lauren I'm here because…"

"You know that you really should tell me right? There's no shame in loosing control, you're still recovering from the ordeal with your father, and it would make sense if your darkness were to emerge when you tried to feed. I can see if I still have some of your old—mhmm." The press of a warm, familiar mouth against her own promptly cuts her off. Her eyes drift closed as she leans into the kiss, the familiar pressure of equally familiar arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer as she allows one of her hands to drift upward cupping the soft skin of Bo's cheek, the other tangling in her hair as Bo pulls her closer, her lips growing more demanding.

Lauren returns the fiery kiss with one of equal passion, the fingers tangled in Bo's hair tugging on her scalp, trying to get as much out of the kiss as she can. It had been far to long since she'd been able to feel Bo like this, the warmth of her body, the taste of her lips, the familiar and the familiar fire that only Bo can seem to ignite so quickly in between her thighs.

Far too soon for Lauren's liking Bo broke the kiss, pulling away only enough to let her see into the other woman's eyes.

"I'm sorry." Bo panted out. "But I needed you to stop talking."

"It's okay…" Lauren replies, leaning her head against Bo's shoulder as she tries to catch her breath. Everything about this felt so deliciously familiar, it would be so easy for her to just fall back into Bo's arms, to give into the heat building up between them, but instead she pulls away, breaking the tight embrace silently.

An awkward silence falls between them as Lauren struggles to find the words to voice what she wants, all of the questions that are burning on her tongue, but that she can't bring herself to give voice too. She could feel Bo's eyes on her as she finally opened her mouth, beginning to speak "What are you doing here?"

"There's some things that I wanted to talk to you about." Bo replied, hesitating for a moment before she took a few steps backward. "But I can understand if this is a bad time. I should have called first… I can't believe I forgot to call first… sorry… I didn't think ahead again."

Lauren smiles gently as she shakes her head, nodding to herself internally as she braces herself for the words that will soon come out of her mouth. "Let me just put my samples back in the fridge. Why don't you take a seat on the couch?"

She worked quickly to try and put the samples back in the fridge.

She had known that this would come at some point, this talk at least was something that should have talked about a long time ago. At least this would finally end the limbo that they had been in, she would most likely finally be set free.

She smiled sadly as she places the samples in their small fridge. It would be short enough, and it would probably end all of this waiting around that she had been doing. She double-checked the label before she places the slide into the fridge.

She gently closed the door, closing her eyes as she grips at the fridge.

How can you prepare yourself when you get your heart broken by the one person that you've sacrificed pretty much everything for? She knew that she couldn't because there was no way to not have her heart broken in this scenario.

"Hey, you okay Lo?" She heard Bo ask from across the room; Lauren bit her lip as she tried to blink back the burning sensation in the back of her throat.

"I'm fine Bo, I just need to turn off some of my equipment okay?" Lauren replies, careful to keep her back to Bo as she moves over to turn off the light under her microscope. She blinked again swallowing the burning sensation at the back of her throat as she composes herself.

She turns to face Bo, the woman who stilled had her heart, and always would have it.

"Do you want anything to drink?" She asks her as she makes her way over to Bo, whom only shakes her head.

"I'm okay." She replies as Lauren walks over to the couch, part of her dreading the words that were going to come out of Bo's mouth. She had no way of knowing if this was going to be a talk about their relationship or if it was going to be a talk about their old relationship, the old fractured and broken relationship, the one that she wasn't sure was even salvageable.

But at the same time, the fact that if that was why Bo was here, then it might indicate a change, amongst so many that she has undergone in the last year. "Do you think that maybe you should sit down hmm?"

"Yeah I probably should." Lauren replies as she walks over to the couch, for the first time taking in Bo's clothing. She can't help the way her eyes trail down the curves of Bo's body, of the way that her clothing hugs her body so tightly. The way the leather pants cling to her long, so incredibly long legs, and the way that her top clings to her magnificent chest.

"There's some things that we should have talked about a long time ago, but we didn't because I never brought it up, and you were to busy taking care of yourself and doing your research." She says, a small, proud smile tugging at her lips. "You once told me that the secret to any relationship is trust, understanding, and compromise."

Lauren's eyebrows screw up as she frowns, trying to understand why Bo was bringing up the old conversation between them. "Kenzi and I talked recently, about the future and about what I wanted to make of my life until it's my time to ascend to the throne."

"You and Kenzi talked about it?" Lauren asks unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. "So you're not going to run away from the throne after all, that's good Bo, its brave."

"It's not brave, it's just something that I have to accept, there are some things not even I can run from, and sometimes I have to accept my destiny, even if that's what I don't want to do. I don't really know what my destiny means, but I do know that I have quite a bit of growing up to do." Bo admits gruffly. "I still have a lot to learn, but there is one thing that Kenzi pointed out to me was something that I've been oblivious too for far to long."

"Bo please just get to the point… I just need to hear the words come out of your mouth, and that's all I need alright?" Lauren says as she reaches out to grab the hand that was lying next to her. "All I need is the words from your mouth, and no matter what I want you to remember that I am yours, and I will always be yours."

Bo flashes me a brilliant smile as she squeezes the hand resting between them. "And I'm yours, Lauren."

She blinks once, twice, three times as she tries to process the words that were just spoken.

_I'm yours Lauren._

Lauren lunged forward, letting go of Bo's hand as she reached up to grab both of her cheeks, slamming their mouths together in a heated, fiery kiss.

_I'm yours, I'm yours. _

How many times had she dreamed about those words coming out of Bo's mouth? About hearing them, about hearing them from her lips of her volition. All she could do was press her lips frantically to Bo's, trying to confirm that this was real, that she hadn't fallen asleep again.

She could only hope that she wouldn't wake-up and find out that this was a dream once again. It was one that she'd had far to many times.

She could feel Bo's hand come to rest softly against her cheek, her thumb stroking the skin there gently. Lauren could feel a shudder travel down her spine as one of her hands drifted down, wrapping her arm around Bo's waist, tugging her as close as she they could get on her narrow leather couch.

"I love you." She heard Bo whisper in her ear when she pulled away, Bo's hand remaining on her cheek. "And I am so sorry for putting you through all of this."

All Lauren could do was smile, blinking her eyes in an effort to keep the tears back. Bo's thumb brushed against the corner of her eye as she shifted her gaze to look down at the woman lying below her sprawled out on the couch. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too." Bo replied as her hand gripped Lauren's chin gently, holding her head in place as the brunette places another, far gentler kiss on her lips. Lauren let her eyes drift closed as she responded, her hands stroking Bo's cheeks as she simply reveled in the feeling of Bo's body pressed against hers, at the gentle and unhurried nature of the kiss, ones that were so rare in their previous relationship.

She could feel something wet trail down her cheeks, followed by the ever-present press of a gentle thumb. "Hey what's with the water works huh?"

"Happy." Lauren replies as she blinks back the tears, trying to stop anymore from falling. It is the first time that she's cried in front of Bo, but if this was going to be it then perhaps it was for the best that they were happy tears, not sad ones for the first time in her years with the Fae. "I'm happy. This is… it's going to be so hard Bo. I'm not sure if I could deal with my heart being broken like that again."

"Please don't." Bo begins, her own eyes beginning to shine with a sheen of tears. "I don't ever want to do that to you again. It would tear out my own heart. God I was so horrible to you, but here you are. What did I do to deserve you?"

"What did I do to deserve you in my life?" Lauren fires back. "All you did was fall in love with me. That's all you had to do to be here again. It's not what you have to do to stay here though."

"I know, believe me I know." Bo replies as she leans up to press another kiss to Lauren's lips. "It's going to be a long hard road to even start to rebuild what we had."

"You know that we're not the same people that we were last time right? I won't stand by and let you hurt me like that ever again Bo." Lauren said, her eyes fierce as she stares into Bo's. "I'm not a doormat, and I'm not a slave anymore. I answer to no one."

"And I know that too."

"And you know that this time we're going to talk about everything? We're going to sit down and lay out what we both want from this relationship, what we both want and expect." Lauren continues.

"And if what we want doesn't match up?"

"Then we'll find a compromise but I think we both want the same thing, at least if what you told me way back then is still true now."

"You have no idea how true it is." Bo says as she smiles, her hand cupping Lauren's cheek fully. "So what do you want to do now?"

"What do you want?"

"I want you to be mine again. I want you to be my girlfriend but I understand if you're not ready to take a step in that general direction right now." Bo says before she stops and adds something. "And there's one thing I do want to ask. I want you to be patient with me, you're my first adult relationship Lauren, and well because of the whole killing my lovers thing I never learned how to be in a relationship."

"Every relationship is different Bo, the circumstances of our relationship are going to be very different from anything else that I've ever experienced because you're a succubus and I'm only human." Lauren says as she allows herself to relax into Bo's hold on her cheeks. "There's going to be a lot of things I have to learn how to deal with as well, but the most important thing we can do is exactly what we're doing right now."

"Talking, communicating with each other. I know. I suck at being honest about how I'm feeling or sometimes I'm to honest and don't let you tell me how you're doing or what you want or what you're feeling."

"I'm not exactly an open book Bo, the myriad of communication issues that plagued our relationship were just as much my fault as yours."

"I didn't exactly help any of that by ignoring you the few times you tried to talk, and by lying to you I don't even know how many times over the course of just our relationship. How can you even trust me after all of that?" Bo replies, screwing up in nose in disgust.

Lauren looks down at Bo, shaking her head as she tries to fight back a fit of laughter at the expression on her lover's face. It was one of pure disgust.

"Somehow I do, and I think if I'm honest I probably always will. But I do have to wonder how it's possible for you to love me when you know so little about me, you hate secrets being kept from you for any reason, and I lied about something as basic as what my name was."

"I don't have to know your birth name, I don't have to know all of your past to know that I know the current Lauren. It might help me understand you better, but I don't need to know you." Bo replies, reaching up to touch Lauren's cheek again as the other woman leans against the palm of her hand. She hesitates for only a moment before bringing her hand up to hold Bo's hand in place.

"So we've got two out of the three keys to a relationship huh?"

"Is that what you want to call them?"

"Yeah, because if I don't then I'm just going to forget them again."

All Lauren can do is smile fondly as she reaches down to touch the necklace hanging from Bo's neck. "You're still wearing it."

"I never want to take it off." Bo replied simply, another smile gracing her lips as Lauren stares down at her before leaning up to press another kiss to her lips. She lets a small moan escape before surrendering to the kiss and returning it with equal fever, only for Bo to break the kiss a few moments later, not wanting it to become to heated. Lauren sighs as she finally allows her body to drop, pressing her body weight fully against Bo, whom returns the embrace by wrapping her arms around Lauren.

For a while they simply lay there in silence, neither of them wanting to risk ruining the moment by talking. Her head remains pressed to Bo's chest listening to her heart beating. It reverberated through her, a surreal experience because she could remember the last time that they had done this, that she had lain against Bo's chest just like this.

It had been so long ago now that it seemed more like a dream. She closes her eyes as she feels the rise and fall of Bo's chest against her head, and for a fleeting moment she wondered if she was crushing Bo, but when she tried to shift some of her weight off to the side Bo wrapped her arms around her waist and tightened her grip, holding her there rather then letting her go.

It was almost as if Bo was having a hard time believing that this was true as well.

Eventually she heard Bo's breath hitch in her chest as she began to talk. "So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. Do you want to try a relationship again or would you rather we take our time and see what happens between us?"

Bo laughs, the vibrations ringing through Lauren's chest. "You know that I came here to try and win you back."

"You never need to try and win me back Bo." Lauren whispers as she props herself up on her elbows so that she could look her lover in the eyes again. "I've been yours since the moment in the lab, all you had was tell me that you wanted me."

"Is it really that simple?"

"No." Lauren replies, smiling sadly as she looks down at Bo. "Our relationship is still broken and it's still fraught, but that doesn't mean is irreparable."

"What do I have to do then?"

"All I ask of you is that you be willing to compromise with me when we talk, and that you don't shut me out before I can explain the rationale behind some of my decisions, some of my past."

"I think that I can do that." Bo murmurs as she leans up capturing Lauren's lips in a heated and demanding kiss. She could feel Bo's legs come up and wrap around her waist, but before she could realize what Bo was trying to do the other woman had already rolled them over, sending them tumbling to the floor laughing.

It was a beautiful start to something new.

* * *

**As always thank-you so much for taking the time to read. A special thank-you to those who have followed or favourited, and an extra thank-you to people who left reviews on the last chapter.**


	4. IV: Both- Commitment

"Dinner was amazing, thank-you." Lauren says as she tangles their fingers across the console of her car. She glances over at Bo, whom has a look of concentration on her face as she continues to stare out at the road ahead of them. Lauren smiles at the brunette as she glances out the window, her brow furrowing as she realizes that they're not heading in the direction of their shared apartment. "Bo?"

"Hmmm?" Her girlfriend hums as she spares her a brief glance with her with deep brown eyes, cast in light only briefly by the street lights rushing past them. "What?"

"Where we going?" She asks, her mind trying to calculate their most likely destination.

Bo smiles at her, squeezing their joined hand briefly before untangling their fingers as she grips the steering wheel a little harder. "It's a surprise."

Lauren sighs before she shrugs, if there was one thing she'd learned in two years with Bo it was then when she got like this, suddenly becoming rather romantic it was better that she just go with it. And to be honest it was nice when she got like this because it was rare that Bo initiated the romance, so instead of fighting it she put aside her curiosity for once and allowed herself to stare out of the car window.

Although there was a small voice at the back of her mind that couldn't help but wonder if this was yet another one of Bo's apology dates.

She could see dark buildings rushing past them, slowly becoming larger and from the little glimpses she could catch it seemed like they were growing more and more dilapidated, and slowly she began to realize that the scenery was familiar. It quickly clicked where they were heading.

"Are we going to the Crackshack?" Lauren asks, slowly turning her head back towards Bo.

"Maybe…" She replies slowly drawing out her words, a smile in her voice even though Lauren couldn't see her face.

"Bo I recognize the road."

"Should I have blindfolded you?" Bo asks her voice heavy and low enough to send a shiver down Lauren's spine.

"Maybe." Lauren responds coyly, a smirk on her lips as the rhythmic clicking of the car's turn signal is activated and she feels the shift in the car's centre of gravity as they turn onto a familiar dark driveway. They sit in silence for a moment as Bo turns of the car's engine, the slight jingle of the keys breaking the otherwise comfortable silence.

Lauren glances around at the sight in front of her, it was a familiar one, perhaps not the turning up at night part, but nonetheless it was an almost nostalgic one. She's about to reach over the grab the door handle when it's pulled open with a rush of cold air, sending a shiver down her spin and causing her, not for the first time, to curse herself for forgetting a jacket.

"Shall we head in m'lady?" Bo asks, her tone flirtatious as she feels the heat of a hand come to rest near her own. She looks up at Bo, her heart beginning to hammer in her chest as her gaze drifts back down to look at the proffered hand.

"What's gotten into you?" Lauren asks as she looks down at the hand that Bo is offering to her. She'd been like this all evening, from picking her up at their, really her, apartment, after heading to god knows where to get changed. She'd brought flowers, she'd pulled out her chair at the restaurant, opened the door for her both to get in and out of the car and to enter the expensive dining establishment that Bo had taken them too for dinner.

The last time Bo had treated her like this she'd blown up her lab and had set her back nearly a month in important research.

"Bo did you do something that I should know about?" Lauren finally asks a sigh in her voice as she looks up at Bo's shadow darkened face.

Bo's eyes close, a fond smile appearing on her lips as she shakes her head. "Can't a girl treat her girlfriend to dinner once in a while without the third degree?"

"If we were a normal couple I would say yes, but we've never been a normal couple Bo, and the only time you do something like this is if you've done something you shouldn't' have or its one of our anniversaries." Lauren sighs. "And you bringing me her…"

"I promise it's not what it seems like. I haven't blown up your lab again, or touched your viruses, or petri dishes. One time and she thinks you can't take her out…" Bo mutters as Lauren shakes her head, a small, fond smile, tugging at her lips as she glances down at the warm, familiar hand in front of hers.

"Oh alright." She fake grumbles, the smile never leaving her lips. "But can I ask what exactly we're doing here? Did you finally remember where you put your daggers?"

"No, although I think I might know where those are… never mind, I'll tell you later." Bo replies as she pulls Lauren to her feet, squeezing her hand for a moment before letting go as she reaches over to push the car door shut.

"Do you trust me?"

"You're asking that after all this time? Bo you know I trust you with my life, you know…" A finger coming to rest under her chin cuts her off as she is guided to look up as Bo presses a warm kiss to her lips. Rolling her eyes and smiling to herself she leans in to return the kiss, bringing one hand up to cup Bo's cheek as she wraps the other around her waist.

"It would seem that still works." Bo laughs breathily as she presses her forehead against Lauren's briefly before pulling away completely.

"Could you close you're eyes for me?" Bo asks gently, her voice barely above a whisper as she reaches down and intertwines her fingers with Lauren's once again. Complying Lauren allows her eyelids to slide shut as her mind begins to whirl, trying to figure out what is going on with Bo, and what they were doing here.

But she quickly becomes distracted by the familiar feeling of Bo's warm hands in her own, of the crunch of the gravel and loose dirt under her shoes. She can also feel another cold breeze hit them, quickly passing through the thin material of her dress and sending an unwelcome shiver down her spin.

She feels Bo's hand tighten in hers for a moment as they come to a halt.

She hears the familiar sound of Bo retrieving the key and trying to jiggle the piece of metal into the uncooperative lock on the door to the place she had once called home. A soft curse escapes from Bo's lips before a triumphant aha escapes from her mouth and the hinges creek out their familiar music as they swing inside, although lacking in the characteristic bang as they hit the makeshift wall.

She feels Bo tugging on her hand gently as they enter into the old structure, the one she could probably find her way around even now, with her eyes closed for all the time she spent here. Bo doesn't give the okay to open her eyes however, instead she feels herself being led into what was likely the living room based upon the number of steps they have taken between here and the door.

"It's okay, you can open your eyes now." Bo whispers as Lauren feels her warm hand let go of her own.

Slowly she blinks open her eyes, a gasp escaping from her lips as she closes her eyes before opening them again, only to be met with the same sight.

"Oh Bo… it's…" She was speechless as her eyes swept over the room in front of her. The furniture that had once been scattered throughout the room was gone, instead leaving the centre of the room bare.

But it was the candles off to the side that truly provided the atmosphere. The only source of light in the room, their soft glow shone in wide semi-circle on the ground around the centre, and candles of all sizes and heights adding their light from further off to the side.

"It's beautiful." Lauren finally manages to breathe out as she turns towards Bo, whom has moved to the centre of the room, the candles only serving to highlight the black of her fitted suite against the soft glow of the room.

"You did all of this?" She asks, it must have taken hours…

"With a little bit of help." Bo replies, a smile on her lips, a twinkle of laughter in her eyes.

"Why?" Lauren asks, her voice quite with disbelief at the sight that surrounds her. It was like something out of a dream.

"Because I can, and because you deserve to have a romantic night once in a while. Now can I have this dance?" Bo asks as, a small hesitant smile tugging at her lips as she offers her hand to Lauren.

"Of course." Lauren laughs, a bemused smile on her face as she rests her palm against Bo's, reaching out with her other hand to rest it gently against her hip underneath the jacket of her suite, the cotton of her blouse soft against her palm. But before it can find a comfortable grip she feels Bo's hand come to rest against hers, catching it with her fingers before bringing it to her lips and pressing a kiss to the skin there.

She tilts her head looking up at Bo, but the question on her lips dies when she sees the soft glow of the candles reflecting in the eyes staring down at her, there is something of awe in her eyes, like she can't believe that this is happening.

It sends a chill down Lauren's spin as Bo's gaze darkens; her eyes become wider as her brow furrows. She leans forward slowly pressing her forehead against Bo's as she bringing the hand still pressed against her girlfriend's lips up the cup the back of her neck.

"What's going on in that mind of yours huh?" She probes gently as Bo shakes her head, almost as if she's bringing herself back. She can feel Bo tilt her head upward and press a quick kiss to her forehead before Lauren feels herself being pulled tightly against Bo as warm, familiar arms wrap around her waist.

"I believe you promised me this dance Dr. Lewis?" Bo says as she tilts her head towards Lauren, the brunette's breath warm against the shell of her ear, her voice low and full of promises of what's to come.

She closes her as her breathe gets caught in her throat, and as her heart begins to pound against her ribs. It amazes her, that even after two years together, and the years before that of dancing around their feelings that Bo can still make her feel this way. But it's also one of the things that she loves most about her, and about their relationship, no matter how long they're together it seems like the spark between them has never faded.

"I believe I did Ms. Dennis." She whispers as she tilts her head to the side, letting her lips brush Bo's ear as she continues. "Did I mention how beautiful you look in that suit? How much I can't wait to see you out of it?"

She can feel Bo shudder against her as she catches the meaning of her words.

"Just you wait Lauren." Bo laughs in her ear as she pulls her closer, a tone of amusement evident in her voice, but there's also something else in her voice, in the way that it seems to grow a little higher with each word spoken, in the way that Bo keeps shuffling them around even without music. But Lauren soon forgets about the abnormalities in Bo's body language and voice as her partner presses them chest-to-chest and whispers in her ear. "Just you wait."

She can hear the opening strains of the music as Bo gently begins to sway to the music.

_Lay your life on mine and I'll carry you through  
Make good use of time and I'll stand with you  
Cause I've got all my life to love you and so do you_

The tune was slow, gentle as the crooning of the singer began to softly lilt from the speakers.

She can feel Bo's body gradually tense as the volume begins to grow louder, the singer's voice growing stronger.

"You know, its funny. I had an entire speech planned, this entire speech that I practiced in front of the mirror that Kenzi helped me write, but now… I've forgotten it all." She laughs softly. "Having you so close, having you in my arms, it makes me forget everything else…"

"So instead…" She sighs as she before beginning to speak. "I know that this isn't the most romantic place to do this." Lauren feels her shift, one of the arms wrapped around her waist moving away, her hand slowly moving across her stomach, her hand sandwiched between their bodies.

"But this is where it all really began. I know that we met for the first time in your lab. I know that our first date was at the Dahl, the first time we said I love you was at your old place, and your new place is where we finally began to talk again. But this place, this shabby, rundown, drafty, Crackshack…"

"Bo?" Lauren whispers, shivering at the loss of body heat from her girlfriend.

_Put your cares on mine and we'll carry them through  
Walk the firing lines with the power of two  
Cause I've got all my life to save you and so do you_

"This Crackshack is where everything began, it's where we had our first kiss where we made love for the first time. This room it was where I really started to fall in love with you, on that awful and wonderful first night. Do you remember?" Bo asks hesitantly, her voice barely an echo of a whisper in Lauren's ear as they continue to, sway gently as the music continues to play on in the background.

"Of course I remember." Lauren replies as she tightens her grip on Bo's waist before she pauses and pulls away from the tight embrace slightly, just enough to let her see her girlfriend's face. "Bo what is this all about huh?"

"There's a reason that I brought us back here, that I wanted us to be here tonight." Bo says with a sad smile.

_So there's no home for doubt  
If you're scared we'll work it out  
And the lives that we share could be anywhere._

"This is where everything started, where our long complicated journey began." She whispers. "And it's where I want the next step to be taken."

"Bo…?" Lauren begins before she trails off, stopping herself as her eyes widening before she pulls away completely, the gears of her mind beginning to turn as she tries to figure out what is going on. She could feel something deep within her well up, her heart beginning to beat faster as she realizes what might be about to happen.

_For as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time  
For the cost is too high not to love_

"I know that these those few years were long, and it's been complicated, and it was hard and heartbreaking for you, but these last few years, they've been some of the most amazing of my life. Waking up with you in the morning, falling asleep with you at night. Watching you work, sharing in the frustrations when you hit a roadblock, and watching you leap jump joy when you finally make that breakthrough." Bo says, her voice rising as as she takes a few more steps back from Lauren.

"All of it makes me love you more, and it makes me so grateful for each and every day that I've had with you, and for each and everyone that you will let me stay by your side."

_Put your cares on mine and we'll carry them through  
Walk the firing lines with the power of two  
Cause I've got all my life to save you and so do you_

Lauren gulps, blinking as tears well up in her eyes. Her mind whirling with possibilities as she begins to feel that hope crash against the small recesses of her mind that tell her that this can't be it, that this is happening, that this is happening to her.

"It was in this room that I told you about my dreams for the future, that I wanted a white-picket fence, and the 1.61 children, and the dog." Bo begins as she looks up at Lauren. "But right from the start there was one thing missing from that, and it was someone that has been standing right by my side from the start."

Bo looks Lauren in the eye as she reaches into the pocket of her jacket, smiling as she slowly pulls a small box from the inside pocket of her jacket, popping it open as she begins to kneel down. She takes one last breath before she flicks open the box, showing the ring nestled in the box, the one that she had picked out all those months ago.

Lauren watches as she reaches out to grab her hand, the warm familiarity a welcome contrast to the pounding heart under her ribs, the tightness in her throat and the burning in her eyes full of unshed tears. But most of all it's the look in Bo's eyes that cause her breath to hitch in her throat, the softness of the glow in the room only serving to highlight the look in her eyes.

It was one of absolute awe, it was he one that she saw that day on the couch when she said that she would give their relationship another chance. It was the one she saw in Bo's eyes as she looked at her after making love. It was the one that had been shinning in her eyes the first time she said "I love you". And in comparison to all those moments, this one blew it out of the water.

Bo's breath audibly catches as her voice rises slightly in pitch, their joined hand held in a death grip, as the look in her eyes shifted from one of pure awe to a mixture of nervousness, fear, and love. "You once told me that a relationship took three things, trust, understanding and compromise, but there is one thing that I wanted to add, commitment. Lauren Lewis will you marry me?"

_So there's no home for doubt  
If you're scared we'll work it out  
And the lives that we share could be anywhere_

Lauren's eyes well up as she blinks down at Bo, taking in the sight of her, down on one knee, the candle light casting a gentle glow around her adding to the already dreamlike quality of this entire night.

Was this real? She couldn't help but wonder. Was it even possible for this to be real?

If someone had told her two years ago that Bo would be down on one knee, proposing to her in the place that held so many memories for them, both good and bad. Well she would never have believed them. And when she had dreamed it had always been her proposing.

This was absurd, it was an impossible situation, one that she couldn't have conjured up.

Which could only mean one thing.

It was real.

When the words finally leave her lips she can hear the half choked sob in her own voice.

"Yes!" She cries and before she can say anymore, before she can playfully admonish Bo for proposing a week before she could, Bo had stood up, slipped the ring on her finger and pressed their lips together in a soft, happy kiss, little more then a press of one's lips against the other, but it said so much more then they could ever voice aloud.

_For as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time  
For the cost is too high not to love  
The cost is too high not to love_

* * *

Hello...

Yes I'm alive. Sorry for the incredibly long hiatus, my life kinda went off the rails for a while, but I'm back!

Thank-you to everyone whose left reviews on my works, as well as the favourites and follows. I honestly have no idea where you guys come from sometimes!

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

PS Hopefully this fills that prompt I promised I would do all that time ago for you cheeky!


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